Major Life Changes Can Bring About Feelings of Insecurity
Posted: Monday, July 13, 2009
by Tina Cassidy
Calgary Life Coach
I frequently hear - I have just changed cities and jobs and am feeling very insecure. Is there any steps I can take to build my self-confidence...I need ME Back!
Major life changes can bring about feelings of insecurity as we learn new skills and move out of our comfort zone. Feelings of doubt and anxiety are quite a normal part of the process. In fact, there is a natural learning cycle called the Competence Cycle. Understanding where in the cycle you are at any particular point will help you to better deal with doubt and move you in the direction you desire.
In Stage 1: Unconsciously Incompetent We often don't even know what we don't know. At this stage, we may not even know the questions we need to ask to create the changes we want.
In Stage 2: Consciously Incompetent We are very aware of how incompetent we are. We don't fit in, and it is obvious that we are unsure of ourselves. I suspect this is exactly where you are in the cycle. Don't fret it is all part of the natural process you need to go through.
In Stage 3: Consciously Competent We are now aware of everything we know and need to know. We know exactly what we need to do, and we consciously choose our actions.
In Stage 4: Unconsciously Competent We naturally respond and act to get things done.
You have taken a major step in your own growth by recognizing that you are not feeling yourself and want to get the "real you" back. The good news is the "real you" never left! The emotions you are currently feeling have more to do with all the changes you have experienced in a short time, and less to do with who you are. In the book, "Stop Holding Back," I discuss the process Easy as ABC, which I recommend using when dealing with change.
Easy as ABC stands for:
A Accept your emotions: The first step is to identify where you are in the cycle and then accept the emotions that come with that change.
B Be with the emotion: We spend most of our lives in the process of achieving our goals; however, it is in the daily "being" we will find fulfillment. Therefore, don't fight your emotions. Completely feel and express them. Allow your emotions to help create the changes you desire.
C Change: Finally, when timing is right, choose to embrace the changes you are currently dealing with. One step at a time; allow your true-self to shine! Act as if you were meant to be where you are right now, right in this moment. All will be fine!
To learn more about the success processes that move you from where you are to where you want to be contact Tina Cassidy at Calgary Life Coach and order you copy of "Stop Holding Back" today!
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Top-level comments on this article: (2 total)Good advice in unsure times, Tina. Thanks for sharing your expertise. Welcome to SearchWarp.
Is there any steps I can take to build my self-confidence...I need ME Back!Tina, not to be cruel, but you might to ask that question with, "ARE there any steps I can take?" Reading an intro like that might turn off potential readers,... dp from central PA
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